Going home. Round one, just about to put a bird on it and consider it done.
Tomorrow will have been three weeks since we walked into the ER.
Dom and I have been contemplating going home. We've felt so safe here, with routine checks of vitals, hand sanitizer by every door, and blood waiting to be infused each time he needed it. We're a little nervous to embark into the big, bad world.
We have had a very good nurse the past 2 days. Overall, we've really enjoyed everyone, (well, you know....), but Ryan has been especially helpful. I feel at times, like he's my college professor, because as I go over my list of questions for him, every now and then he says "good question," and I feel like I'm building up all the extra credit. (Because if you read the blog regularly, you know I feel like anything can be won by following the rules.) He has been able to answer more questions regarding home care than anyone else, and I've actually compiled a grocery shopping list, and know what I am cooking for dinner tonight.
Dinner tonight. I have not had to cook a single meal in 3 weeks.
We're mostly vegetarian, and now he wants the bacon and the salmon and cancer fighting warrior gets whatever his body wants to do its job properly.
I'm a clean person in general. I wipe the fridge down every week. I scrub out the sink. I soap the dishes up good. But, I also have a streak in me that says a little dirt is good for the immune system. I'll use the cream past its expiration date. I'll sometimes leave the bed unmade if the royal cats are having a snooze. So, in fact, I was puzzled the other day when my Auntie Carole told me I was blessed with the CLEAN gene. I did all sorts of mental gymnastics trying to figure out what CLEAN was an acronym for, until I finally had to call my other Aunt, thinking I had some mysterious cancer fighting gene. I suppose in a round-about way, I do. I am a neat-nick like her brother, my Grandpa. I can't stand messes or dirt. And, in this battle, that's a necessity. We won't be using the cream after expiration. We won't be having cats on the bed. At all. Perhaps not even in the house. And the sheets will be changed every other day. Every. Other. Day. I have a couple sets of sheets set aside to go to Salvation Army. I'm bringing them back.
On that note, can I just vent a moment? Just a quick little digression. I've mentioned there is a refrigerator for family use. There is a note that says food is no good after 3 days and will be tossed. Captain Literal came and got me the other day because the date on my box was past 3 days. She was very unhappy with me that I had written dates and name on my bottles of bubbly water instead of using their stickers with name, room number and date. She wanted to throw away sealed bottles of bubbly water, and packages of string cheese because of the date on the box. Nothing was open, or left over or past its sell by date. Meanwhile, if you remember, I had thrown away the crustiest week old leftover food shortly before that. It felt like she was on my case only. It felt more that way after she left, and I went back in and there was tons of food in the fridge not labeled, not sealed, but somehow more okay than my bubbly water. I think she's an unhappy person. I think I won't miss her.
It will be so quiet at home without all the heads poking in all the time for various things. I'll savor the moments of quiet in the house without any white noise. The hospital air system is constant. It will also be a little lonely without all the friendly faces. We both want to visit with our friends, and also are terrified of any germs. If he picks up anything at all, it is a trip to the ER and a delay in treatment. We don't want that. I'm sure, as we get our bearings, we'll calm down. But for now, we just want to hunker down in a hidey hole. I think it's why I've resisted visiting the many friends nearby in Sacramento, who I would love to see.
I miss my friends. I miss my community at yoga, and of course I miss the yoga. Thankfully, I am a teacher, as I will be teaching myself in the foreseeable future.
Though he is the one with the cancer; and I'm so very sorry for all the strength Dom will have to summons to see this whole thing through, we are definitely in this together. It's kind of our full time job right now. I will work from home as much as possible to continue to earn income, but we're both on hold until we can beat this thing.
So bring on the tinned food, the Netflix binges, the Clorox bleach wipes and gentler vinegar wash. We're headed home shortly. Just long enough to get settled and repack for round two starting on the 11th. And away we go!