Saturday, September 17, 2011

Autumn tip toeing toward me

Without fail, Autumn makes her presence known in my life. While I'm still expecting blazing hot days, for it's always hot during the Handcar Regatta which is next week, I'm looking at the mess of pumpkins sprung from my volunteer patch and thinking of cozy nights with a book and a fire.
I've needed a day to myself for so long. A day where I wasn't cleaning my house for company, but for myself. A day to play sappy piano music on Pandora instead of my usual upbeat fare. And, after last night's humbling experience at yoga, I definitely needed a slow day. After lying in the fetal position in the class room for a good long time, someone came in and asked me if I was okay. My eyes welled up with tears, because I wasn't okay, but the fact that someone cared made me okay.
I love summer. I love to be hot and feel the sun seeping into my very core. I dream about that feeling during the dead of winter. I never want summer to end, but when Autumn comes, I can't help but embrace her with open arms.
I've already written an ode to Autumn last year. And as she approaches again this year, all the same feelings crop up. I've been struggling with some things in my life lately, and my lovely friends want to rescue me. I think in the end it will be Autumn who rescues me. She reminds me nothing is forever. She also reminds me you can't have everything all the time. No one wants a fire on a blazing hot day. At least, no one in their right mind. So, I enjoy the hot day on the river's edge soaking up the sun, and I enjoy the cool Autumn night curled up on the couch with a book listening to rain spatter on the windows. Both are good. One is no better than the other, but they cannot happen at the same time. And that's one of the many gifts Autumn brings to me. A knowing that all things happen in their time, and they are good. I need only be present.


robertjm said...

Pumpkins? Thought you said the other day they turned out to be watermelons?

Cassandra said...

Nothing gets past you my friend. I've got both! The watermelon was a more recent happy surprise.