The Myth of All Good

No one is all good or all bad. There;  I can just stop writing now. Of course I won't. I want to, I've been sitting on this  a couple days, because it feels vulnerable. It's a thought that comes to mind when I'm presented with choices I don't feel comfortable making, judgement calls I can't.
Yesterday in yoga, (I really should rename this blog  Facebook and yoga), anyway....as I looked into the side mirror to check the alignment of my profile, I caught a glimpse of the same woman picking at her toe nails who picks at her toes every time we get into that posture. It's like part of the routine now; if she is ever to my right, which is the side the mirror is on, I turn my head to see my posture and get a glimpse of her ritual. And, it drives me nutty. And, it's not my place at all to be driven nutty. But when 5 seconds later the teacher says, "nice job [insert toe picker's name],"I get miffed. How can you say someone is doing a nice job when clearly they are more interested in their manicure than pushing their body?
And it's not my place to judge.
It's not my place to judge.
Again. It's not my place to judge.
When I came home last night and hopped on Facecrack to read a message, I saw the most recent posting in my newsfeed was another side of the Steve Jobs legacy. Steve Jobs passed away this week, and it has been an all out worship fest of the man behind iEverything. With just cause. He changed our lives. For better or worse, he changed our lives. And, the article which I saw that night was the first that called to attention a for worse.
While we are busy linking articles, tagging photos, liking videos etc....workers in Chinese Apple factories work in such horrendous conditions, some are taking their own lives to get out.
I sat with that for a moment. I always like the underdog, so someone daring to post something not glorifying this man was brave in my estimation. I also thought about a totally black and white response. Somewhere in my mind, I felt like I should not like the man who lived in a wealth built on the backs of those less fortunate. And then I felt the tension, which believe it or not was similar to the tension in the yoga room. Of course, there is a glaring difference: her activity does not really harm others, much less at a profit to her self. But, the tension is still the same. For me at least.
Because it is not my place to judge.
I can both herald Steve Jobs as a Master Mind, a boon to society, and I can also work, somehow, toward a society where my leisure is not borne out of someone else's misery.
I think back to what I wrote when he announced his retirement:
I keep thinking about Steve Jobs, and his brilliant career. And, at the end of the day, there's not enough money in the world to keep him healthy. I feel for him. I hope he enjoyed the ride with Apple. I hope he enjoys his retirement. And; I hope we all enjoy our days, and live as if there is nothing to lose and everything to gain.
And in the mean time, I can realize no one is all good, or all bad. We're all on a journey. Sometimes we make choices that make us stronger, and sometimes not. Sometimes we harm others and sometimes it is only our selves that we harm.
One thing I know, if I look for the good in people, I will find it. The woman in the yoga class did deserve kudos because she was in the room at all. Steve Jobs does deserve acknowledgement; not only did he change our lives technologically, he inspired many people. And still! It is not my place to judge. I will make it my goal to not worry about good or bad in people, but to live and love the best way I know how and the rest will just be.

Autumn tip toeing toward me

Without fail, Autumn makes her presence known in my life. While I'm still expecting blazing hot days, for it's always hot during the Handcar Regatta which is next week, I'm looking at the mess of pumpkins sprung from my volunteer patch and thinking of cozy nights with a book and a fire.
I've needed a day to myself for so long. A day where I wasn't cleaning my house for company, but for myself. A day to play sappy piano music on Pandora instead of my usual upbeat fare. And, after last night's humbling experience at yoga, I definitely needed a slow day. After lying in the fetal position in the class room for a good long time, someone came in and asked me if I was okay. My eyes welled up with tears, because I wasn't okay, but the fact that someone cared made me okay.
I love summer. I love to be hot and feel the sun seeping into my very core. I dream about that feeling during the dead of winter. I never want summer to end, but when Autumn comes, I can't help but embrace her with open arms.
I've already written an ode to Autumn last year. And as she approaches again this year, all the same feelings crop up. I've been struggling with some things in my life lately, and my lovely friends want to rescue me. I think in the end it will be Autumn who rescues me. She reminds me nothing is forever. She also reminds me you can't have everything all the time. No one wants a fire on a blazing hot day. At least, no one in their right mind. So, I enjoy the hot day on the river's edge soaking up the sun, and I enjoy the cool Autumn night curled up on the couch with a book listening to rain spatter on the windows. Both are good. One is no better than the other, but they cannot happen at the same time. And that's one of the many gifts Autumn brings to me. A knowing that all things happen in their time, and they are good. I need only be present.