Fail

Remember how last week, I wanted to be able to send people on their way with a smile? Well, I need to incorporate that into some other areas of my life. Not a fake smile either; but a compassionate I know deep in my core this isn't really a big deal so I'm going to smile smile.
I have been really frustrated with service lately. How stupid is that? All the things in the world that can get my panties in a wad, and I freak over the kid behind the counter.
I have officially hit middle age. I am so tired of the kid who asks if she can help me as she breezes around the corner into some back room where I can't see or hear her. Not, "I'll be right with you," but "can I help you?" No, apparently, you cannot as you cannot hear me, or see to what I am pointing. Then, when she does come around, I'm not quite ready, so I suggest my friend order. Which she curtly explains to me is already taken care of and she then proceeds to help someone else with a very large order. Not once did she ask if I had any questions. Just a complete disdain for me. (Not me personally, I know she has no way of knowing how absolutely amazing I am. Just that general disdain for anyone who is not as robotic as she is.)
Are your eyes glazed over yet? Mine are. Rants are boring. And this is a rant. This is not the end of my dealings with this girl, but for your sake, I may stop here.
I walked away really frustrated with two things. First, of course, I'm frustrated with the quality of service I experience and hear about. Being accused of bringing your own beer into a restaurant, a beer that had actually been purchased from the bar is just one of the many amazing spectacles taking place in this cozy little hamlet.
The second "thing" I was frustrated with is my self. Why couldn't I just get her attention and assert my needs? Why did I stand there like a deer caught in the head lights staring at the menu on the wall thinking I could wish exactly what I wanted onto the menu. Maybe I stood like that because it didn't make any sense to me. It was a hodge podge  of soups, salads and sandwich's, but what was what? But, I'm ranting again.
The thing is, I can't change people. I'd like to. I try all the time. Through harsh looks, carefully crafted responses meant to zing...Why can't I carefully craft my own desires into something nice to communicate? Like, all I wanted was cheese with a roll. It's that simple. Instead of staring at a sandwich board, knowing I have an aversion to sandwiches, (mayonnaise is the devil and pesto belongs on pasta in my world), it was on me to stop the bus and take control. And here's where the smile comes in. I need to have compassion on those who clearly hate their job or worse, their life. I need to have compassion on myself as well. Instead of being swept into frustration, I need to stop, smile and just say what I want. Clearly. Concisely. Gently. I may get turned down. I may even be laughed at. I may still be talking to a counter zombie. But, at least I'll have some sense of control, and I won't be swept into another rant. What I'm really talking about here is, we can't control what happens outside of us, but we can control our reactions. We've all heard this one way or another. At least that's what I assume. And maybe others aren't as easily as frustrated as I am, though what I read on facebook tells me they are. It helps me to write it out; to see it in action. I don't want the small things to get me down or color my day. I want to wear a smile, and mean it.